How to Fight the Right Way
We all fight … it is inevitable. No relationship is filled with hot sex, great conversation, and limitless fun all the time (at least once you get past the honeymoon stage). It is just not possible. And if you think it is, I would love for you to write in and tell me about it because, I want to know your secret!
From a female perspective there is nothing more frustrating than having the same fight over, and over again. I am confident you will agree with that statement. Women do nag, I am certainly not going to deny it but, I’d be willing to bet that most of the nagging is repetitive of something we have talked about before.
Regardless, I think the best way to look at it is that marriage, dating, and relationships in general are a war and fights are the battles. We need to pick our battles, because in the end it is about winning the war with our relationship in tact. If that is what you want of course. (We all hope for the peace treaty, but let’s get real … women and men are far too opinionated to sit idly by).
Rule No. 1: Think before you react. Spewing hurtful comments at each other can never be taken back. They will haunt you forever! Do not set yourself up for that despite the fact that your partner may do it. Their ego obviously supersedes their logic.
Rule No. 2: Timing is everything. Be understanding to the situation at hand. Life is stressful, so if one of you is already stressed, your fight at the wrong time will create a war. Wait until you are both in the right mindset.
Rule No. 3: The battle does not need to be about winning vs. losing. In fact, if you have this thought, you shouldn’t be in a relationship at all. Disagreements should ultimately be about compromise.
Rule No. 4: Listen to each other. Try and recognize the other’s position. This doesn’t mean stating fine, and moving on. For women, a “fine” means nothing! We only want to know you “heard” us. I know we are very confusing when we start talking; we share way too much that is sometimes an overload for you. Ask your girl to just get to the point, be simple and precise in what she is asking. It may surprise her, but I get what you need and I am sure she will catch on.
My little trick: Try to remove the word “you” from each of your sentences and instead use “I.” It will make your significant other feel less defensive. Good luck!
Can Women and Men Really be Friends?
As a woman my response is yes. I have countless guy friends that I have never wanted sexually. But I wonder if you narrow this question down to: Can you be friends with a woman and never have a sexual thought about her? What would your response be?
I was quite surprised at the response I got when talking to other guys about this, they agreed with me. Albeit, most of them conceded that their own evolution and age was a major factor.
So, what do you guys think? Is age really the key as a man? Is it because looks fade, or sex drive? Or do you think it really is just not possible for a man to not have a sexual thought about any woman they maintain a closeness too?
I think it is possible regardless of age. For a woman closeness to a man through friendship, or sexual attraction can be on completely different playing fields. Is it the same for you?
How to Make Your Relationship Last
Ok, I am just going to go out on a limb and say it: Communication.
Yes, yes, that dirty little word that you have read from Fran’s articles, just this time, and it’s not in the bedroom.
I know this may surprise you, although I sure hope not … women actually think with only one head and therefore can actually think without their genitals getting in the way. Amazing, I know.
Now, I know there are the exceptions (cough, cough, Fran), who are 100% female to the core and have total penis envy. I am sorry to disclose this, but most of us do not. If you really like, love, want your relationship and girl to be happy, then communication is a skill you need to possess. Here are a few tips:
- Most women want to have an emotional connection with you first. Guess what guys? We can have sex with anyone too…. We cannot however, have a personal relationship/connection with just anyone. So my suggestions … work on it, if you want us to work. This communication is “foreplay” for us. If you make an effort to have conversations and take legitimate interest in your girl, I promise it will pay off in the physical sense too. Do not pacify us though, we will see through it.
- Now, I know this is going to be a challenge for most guys… sometimes we just want you to listen. You don’t need to fix it, I know it is in your nature to want to fix things – we don’t want this. Most of the time we know how to fix it, we may just not want to. I know this makes absolutely no sense to most of you, but it doesn’t need to. There are substantial differences between men and women and this is one of them. Listen, don’t fix. I promise we will ask for advice if we need it. We are not like you – we will stop for directions.
- I think it is important to have differences, likes and dislikes. Both individuals in the relationship should have a life outside of their significant other. Encourage and promote your girlfriend, wife, etc., in her extra endeavors. Take a wanted interest and she will likely do the same for you. Like each other’s friends better and be more trusting when you want to go and do your “hobby” without her. We should balance one another out, not blur the lines of where one stops and other begins. I don’t know about you, but one of me is enough, there’s no way I’d want two. Be yourself and don’t be afraid to communicate that your interests are important to you too.
- Relationships evolve. Trust me; we’d all like it if the initial ‘dating’ part lasted forever, before we knew all of each other’s deep, dark secrets. It’s more exciting for us too. But if you are in it for the long haul, you are going to have ups and downs, physically and mentally. If you do not have communication at the core of the relationship, one day you are going to wake up and have no idea who is lying beside you.
The Real Reason Why Men Cheat
Well let’s face it, the urge or opportunity rather, to cheat is everywhere you look. So what stops or starts you from cheating?
I think the obvious answer to that would be that you are just not that satisfied in your current relationship, or even yourself. Maybe you are one of those guys that want a new piece of ass regardless of the repercussions. Either way, something is missing.
We all have the opportunity, guys and girls alike, but I think what really makes the idea or action of cheating intriguing is the chase. Everyone wants to feel attractive. And, everyone wants to attract the opposite sex. So, when you have a person that aggressively pursues you, constantly catering to you, it makes the idea more appealing and the consequence of the risk a little less nagging than it should be.
Before doing something you can never take back I think it is important to consider the consequences, worst case scenario, if you do get caught. Are you willing to risk what you have, or could have?
If the answer is yes, then I don’t think you are that serious with your current mate in the first place. If the answer is no, think before you do something you can’t take back. The whole, “baby, I promise I will never do it again,” might work initially, but let me tell you, you will pay. There will not be a moment that she won’t wonder, when you’re out with the guys, if you are really out with another girl. Or, what if you do not answer your phone? Her first thought … You’re cheating.
You will get grilled. She will not let it go, and the connection will likely never get better, ultimately resulting in the demise of your relationship.
Remember cheating never equals trusting. Complicate your life less and end it if you are unhappy because from a woman’s perceptive, “once a cheater, always cheater,” will ring true time and time again. And further, if you are the one she is cheating with… be prepared to have it happen to you. Never think you will be the one that is different, you aren’t and it’s only a matter of time before karma comes and gives you a swift kick in the ass.
One last item or piece of advice, if you do end a “side” thing in favor of walking the straight path, I urge you … do NOT come clean to either of the girls. Everyone has that little feeling of guilt that tugs at you wanting to make the situation right. Trust me when I say, “What your partner doesn’t know, won’t hurt them!” Deny, deny, deny.
The Basics of Shaving with a Straight Razor
The straight razor shave is that of precision and skill. It is a shave that requires practice, and focus. Learning how to shave with a straight razor is definitely not for every man, but it can be for any man.
As a woman, I understand the focus and following of why men shave with a straight razor. A man’s face is what a woman first notices. (Well, unless you’re at the beach or pool).
So let’s get down to the basics of shaving with a straight razor.
The essentials:
- A straight razor that is shave ready
- Shaving soap/cream (to a lather)
- Shaving brush (the most recommended is a badger hair)
- A leather strop.
It is important that you make sure your skin is shave ready. Yes, gentlemen there is a lot of prep when it comes to a straight razor shave!
Before you begin make sure that you have all the tools at your fingertips for easy use and better focus. Get a cup or a bowl ready with steaming hot water and allow your brush to soak in it.
While your brush is soaking you need to open up the pores of your skin on your face, thus allowing your facial hair to soften. (Facial hair is notoriously coarser than all other hair on your body). To do this run a towel under hot water and apply it to your face until the towel cools. This can be repeated if necessary, or desired.
Immediately after removing the towel apply the shaving soap/cream in a circular motion to your face. Make sure a thick layer of lather is applied.
While the shaving soap/cream is on your face, strop your razor one last time. You want to use a leather strop running the blade along it. I recommend that you do somewhere between 30 and 60 passes in a fast motion with light pressure for optimum results.
If your face is no longer moist make sure you reapply the shaving soap/cream (so blade is not getting caught or skipping due to the soap drying).
After you have re-lathered, if necessary, stretch the area of skin you are shaving so it is tight and then apply the straight razor at a 20-degree angle. For each pass you will start with short strokes moving on to long ones. For optimum results I recommend that you do three passes, but it is not necessary if time is a factor.
For the first pass you will always start with the growth direction of your facial hair.
For the second pass re-apply the shaving soap/cream and go sideways with the grain of your face. (Obviously there will be areas of your face and neck that this will not be possible, therefore skip this pass for these areas).
The third and final pass is the most dangerous and you should be very careful when completing it. For this final step you are going to go against the grain of your facial hair (yes, up). (Be especially careful around your nose, ears, etc.).
After you have completed all three passes you are done. Rinse your face off with cold water (versus the hot) to close up your pores.
These are the basics of a straight razor shave. Remember guys just like Julia Roberts said in Pretty Woman, “I don’t kiss on the mouth its too personal,” your face is the most personal part of your body to a woman. The more time and attention you give to your face, the more attractive and appealing you become. Trust me!
One final note, once you have mastered the straight razor shave. Teach the woman in your life. Because lets face it; there is nothing sexier than having your woman getting exactly what she wants.
Introducing Demi
Let me start by saying that I am not your “typical girl.” I am a “guys” girl. I am not into bullshit, but a straight shooter through and through.
No bullshit! That is what you can expect of me and that’s what I promise to give to you. If you wanted to sleep with me, I‘m the type of girl that would prefer you just come right out and tell me! I don’t want to hear some crappy line asking me if it hurt when I “fell from heaven.” I’d rather you just be honest. Honesty will always get you much, much further with me.
I have girl friends, but am very choosy with regard to picking them. I don’t care if I am hotter than her, or if she is hotter than me. Why can’t we both just be hot and it not be such a damn competition? That’s women for you. It’s always such an endless, needless competition. Please also know that when you look/gawk at other women, we notice. In fact, I’ll be talking to you boys about this another time. Remember, I can appreciate a hot girl just as much as you…and I do!
I have always gotten along with men better than women. Not because I don’t love women, but because men, tell you what they want. No grey areas, but simply black and white. I can look at pictures of my guy friend’s conquests with them and congratulate them for their bases and of course homeruns too. Why not, we all deserve to score.
You may be surprised to know that I am happily married and have a beautiful one year old boy? Don’t be! I’m nothing, if not loyal and dedicated. I know what I want and I am not afraid to commit to it once I have it, hence, my amazing family.
I love sports and will cheer right along with the best of them. But I also LOVE to shop. I take pride in taking care of myself and looking good. Working out is an everyday thing for me. It’s my time to shut the world out and focus on making myself look and feel better.
To some I come across as unapproachable, but I am quite the opposite. I carry myself well and I am not willing to compromise “me” to make “you” feel better. With that being said, I am quite the opposite of what is initially perceived. However, I do get it and understand why. As far as I am concerned, if you are not willing to figure that out, then I am not willing to show you.
I am a woman of many facets, which will become more apparent as we get to know one another better. I can promise you that I will always give it to you straight. I want to be the person that you know will call you on your bullshit and can handle if you call me on mine. This is a place where you can be you, and I can be me. NO Bullshit!
Why Spa Dates Are a Bad Idea
The spa: a place of relaxation and pampering for the female prototypes. A place to do something just for you so why not makes it a date with your significant other or a girl that your into?
Well, I can think of a couple of reasons.
While this could be a good idea and it may score you major points with your chick there are definitely some things to consider before jumping in.
Number one, the price. There is nothing, I repeat nothing cheap about a spa date. I am going to be completely honest with you, even if you go as a couple it is likely that you will spend little to no time together. All the while at minimum dropping a couple hundred dollars before walking out the door.
Most spas are coed and have a small common room that is not at all romantic or private. If you have never been to a coed spa it usually consists of a room construed of two or three long couches and a few over sized chairs. Likely has a fireplace and baskets of fruits with stations of tea, coffee and water. These rooms are often quiet and used solely as a place to sit down and wait for your next appointment/therapist.
The rooms where you can utilize the amenities are most often separate male and female, so unless you are into hanging out in a sauna or hot tub with a bunch of dudes I would venture to guess your going to pass. Plus, can’t you get access to the same stuff at your local gym that is already incorporated into your monthly fee? Way cheaper.
Secondly, and I think most importantly you need to consider how jealous your chick and/or you are.
On paper it may sound like a good idea to get a couples massage, thereby solving the above issue of not getting to spend time together while funding this expense date. Wrong.
Have you considered how either of you will react to watching another person rubbing your girl down or a girl rubbing you down?
I can pretty much guarantee you are going to request a girl, because lets face it most men are not comfortable even under said circumstances with a guy rubbing them all over. Furthermore, while you may think it is hot to be watching your girl getting rubbed on naked by another chick is it going to be so cool if you pop wood mid massage? I can pretty much promise you that even the best of us non-jealous types are going to be pissed at that, or even embarrassed which will not lead to a long night of grateful, hot, thank you so much honey sex.
So here’s my suggestion. Forego the spa for you. If you really want to score points and your girl has been hounding you about the spa, send her. I promise you will be rewarded for your good deeds and in turn save you some money and hopefully you can use that wood in the right bush instead of having your tree chopped down at the root before you can even sprout leaves.
To Spanx or Not to Spanx
Spanx. In a woman’s life that one word is a lifesaver in a world consumed with imperfections, lumps and bumps. You might be surprised to know what a fundamental staple it is in most women’s wardrobes. It smoothes, shapes and tricks the unsuspecting male eye. Sorry guys. It is unfortunate, but true nonetheless.
Imagine my surprise then when I got wind of the latest Spanx has to offer, Spanx for Men. I rubbed my eyes vigorously again and again thinking that they had betrayed me… Could such a thing exist, no it’s not possible. Men as worried about their lumps and bumps as women? Incomprehensible.
Ah, but alas, they were right, indeed Spanx has to a new undershirt line for men promising to change the way you men feel in an undershirt forever. Offering to firm your chest, flatten your stomach and even provide back support…. unbelievable but true.
So I considered it. Mulled over it and couldn’t quite decide if the genius that is Spanx had been betrayed by giving men a chance at women’s dirtiest little undergarment secret.
Which got me thinking… what is it like for you?
Hypothetically of course, you meet a chick in a bar and she wearing this hot mini dress that hugs her curves in a way that should be illegal. You spend the night fantasizing about how much better that dress is going to look on your floor and then bam the dream becomes a reality and you’ve managed to get her back to your place and low and behold the dress slips off and there she is in all her glory with underwear (by Spanx of course) up to her breasts neatly holding it all in place and as she peals it away the underwear vomit up what the Spanx has been so effortlessly hiding. What do you? Run? Have another drink or chalk it up to the brilliance that is Sara Blakely?
While contemplating this exact situation at a wedding I was talking to a friend whose husband is heavier set. She was mentioning the wonderfulness of Spanx and how it had provided the containment that her dress so needed and so I brought up the new Spanx male line.
Her response I was not prepared for… She thought it was amazing and even said that she would buy it for her husband thinking that it would help. Help whom… help the unsuspecting single ladies to whom he was not available? Her? Him?
To say that it shocked the shit out of me would be an understatement but all I could mutter out was “really?”
“Yes,” she replied in the affirmative. Huh? Maybe it is as genius as the rest of it.
So, to Spanx or not to Spanx that is the question. A question that I can whole heartily admit I do not have the answer to. I think that it is a choice, a choice that you have be prepared to deal with if the chick, wife, girlfriend in your life looks at you horrified due to your before and after shot, or the look she gives praising you for having figured out what we women have been blessed to utilize for many years now…. Spanx.
Shot of the Month: Starburst Shot 
Shot of the Month: Hawaiian Honeymoon Drink 
Summer Essential Drink Guide 
