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Is She Faking it?

Posted by Francesca on August 31, 2010 · Leave a Comment 

Several of my male friends have asked me how to tell if their girl is faking the big “O.” The concern is that too much noise means she is faking her orgasm. I can assure you that making a lot of noise is not always an indication of a faked orgasm. Some of us, myself included, are very loud in the bedroom. We’ve all faked it, sorry boys, but that’s just the reality of the matter!

I have found that the only way to tell if a woman is being truthful in her displays of pleasure is by the fluttering of her abdomen. Without being too clinical about it, when a woman is experiencing an orgasm it is her muscles in that area contracting. This creates the orgasm as well as the flutter. This CANNOT be faked! Well, at least I have never been able to pull this off. Ladies?

Some women have attempted to fake the flutter by writhing at your touch. This CAN be faked, quite easily in fact. So in answer to the question, being loud can be a clue but hardly a definite indication. Watch for the flutter and squirm. It feels FANTASTIC!!

Keep coming back.

Kisses, Francesca

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Pulling Off the One Night Stand

Posted by Francesca on July 1, 2010 · Leave a Comment 

Hello Boys!  Good to have you back!  This is gonna be a good one, so grab yourself a beverage and get comfortable.  I am gonna open up a whole new world of one night stands for you.

Lets get started with your first do for a one night’er, how do you look?  Comfortable sexy is always good.  A pair of nice fitting jeans and t-shirt with a jacket always works.  Please though do yourselves a favor as well as the ladies you’ll be scoping for the evening’s festivities, when you are buying your jeans, take a look at your butt before you buy.  The biggest mistake you guys make is wearing a pair of jeans that hang off your ass.

Have you shaven?  We like clean-shaven faces for the task at hand.  Go for the rugged look once you have gotten past the one night stand part of your life and have a girlfriend.  Are you wearing cologne?  Make sure it’s not too strong; sometimes a really good smelling deodorant is all you need.

Do you have your alter ego for the evening picked out?  You DO NOT give her your real name! Birthday, dog, etcetera all okay to be truthful with, but NOT YOUR NAME.  Now, there is an exception to this rule, as there is to most.  If this girl is your future wife you obviously do not want to start the relationship off with a lie but this is a very slippery slope.  Can you really be sure with one look that this girl is not PSYCHO?

Okay now lets get to the real business at hand, the dos and don’ts.  DO scope out your location!  I have done some bar crawling myself and I can tell you for the younger set you should try: Club 333 in Newport Beach, Beach Front 301 in Huntington Beach, really anything along the coast will work.

For my older readers that aren’t looking for a young little thing to boost the ego for the evening, or really don’t care who you take home as long as you will be getting some; have I got the place for you.  It is in Yorba Linda and it is called the FoxFire, or as me and mine like to call the Sure Fire.  You will not leave this place without a woman on your arm if that is your goal it is quite literally a guaranteed lay.

Once you have scoped out your bar of choice, of most importance is this do!  Always be sure to scope the room out.  When you enter the bar, before you get a drink, find yourself a spot in the middle of the action and settle in.  Take in the room and get to know your surroundings; this will go along way in creating your persona for the evening.

The more you know about your surroundings the more confident you will appear, even if this is your first time trying to pull it off.  Pay close attention to the ladies in the room, who are they with?  Maybe she is with a group of giggling college students or is it one of her favorite gay friends?  This will be important in executing the pick up.

Now check the bartender, is he a player looking to score too or is he just looking for tips and paying attention to the gay friend?

Now if you feel confident in your environment it’s time to unleash the player.

Sidle up to the bar and order your drink.  If you are really looking to have a nice night do not order a drink with an umbrella or some other kind of embellishment.  You need to look the part and a long island iced tea is not going to get you anywhere.

Make sure you order your drink from the bartender that is checking out the gay friend, he will be your stand in wingman tonight.  Give him a very nice tip, you’ll want him to like you right off the bat.

Now have you chosen your prey for the evening?  Is she surrounded by a pack of friends?  If she is, your best bet is to divide and conquer otherwise you will get yourself nowhere, unless of course they are extremely drunk.  In that case you may want to approach the group as you could be looking at the ultimate evening; one that you and your friends will still be talking about at the old folks home.

Now if she is with the gay friend, you want him to like you before she does.  This will be your ticket to paradise boys.  If he likes you, you are so in.  After you get him to fall in love with you, gush over the girl for a bit and then excuse yourself to the bar to get another round of drinks (Do Not be cheap boys that is a sure fire way to get you nowhere fast!!!) While you are gone two things will happen, the girl and the gay friend will talk about how cute you are and get all twitterpated.  The second thing that will happen will be that you are going to do so some recon while you are at the bar.  Ask the bartender if she is a regular, does he know anything about her etcetera.

Once you have her on the hook, a couple of more drinks and a couple of more turns around the dance floor and be on your way.  It is ALWAYS better to go to her apartment.  You do not want her to know where you live this is PARAMOUNT to pulling off the one nightstand.

Now if she approaches you, you’re in, keep the drinks coming and keep her dancing and talking you will get laid tonight.  But, hey don’t be upset if she does not ask for your number.  She had a plan going into the bar tonight your boy parts being key to that plan and the plan ends when the boy parts are done playing.  The woman that comes on to you knows exactly what she wants and you are it so lay back and let her do all of the work you will have plenty to do later that evening.

My most important piece of advice to you is this: Women that are willing to play this little game are either of the same mind as you and will come on to you and be quite easy to get into bed.  Or they are looking for Mr. Right.  The first will usually kick you out of her bed long before the sun comes up and the latter, yeah not so much.

If she gets too cuddly or even remotely whispers the “L” word you need to get out while the getting is good, if you spend the night with this one another psycho bitch stalker will be born.   This is why you do not give her your real name, it would also serve you not to return to that particular bar for a few weeks as she will most assuredly be looking for you.

I hope that this enlightens you to the wonders of pulling off the one night stand.  If you have questions or think of something I did not cover please write in and let me know.

Love you Boys!!  Keeping coming back.  And remember when you look good we look good.   Kisses. Francesca

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Introducing Francesca

Posted by Francesca on June 2, 2010 · 1 Comment 

Well hello boys. The name is Francesca, or the answer to all of your questions about women, sex and how to get both.

Weight: 132 Lbs.

Hair Color: Depends on my mood – Red at the moment.

Eye Color: Blue

Bra Size: 36D, and they are natural boys!!!  No silicone in this girl.

Waist: 26”

Hips: 38

Height: 5’8” Tall

Now that you have me pictured in your head, wrap your brain around the fact that my purpose here is to cater to you and your questions, in a nutshell to handle your needs.  I love sex! It’s my favorite subject and activity.  I am not like most women you know. I am not afraid to try anything in the bedroom, especially if it involves you.  My door also swings both ways so I feel I have a good idea of what you go through on occasion.

Although it was a complete shock to me, I actually enjoy things outside of the bedroom as well.  I love animals, all animals.  I love to go to my cabin and sit on deck and just watch.  Animals have the right idea, eat, sleep, love and have sex.  Dogs are by far my favorite creature.  I have two Boxers myself, one male and one female. They are the light of my day, everyday.

When it comes to me, nothing is too crazy. Well let me dial that back a bit, that truly only applies to the bedroom.  When it comes to extracurricular activities that involve being dressed, I am not into extreme sports.  I do not ski, I do not snow board, I do not mountain bike.  I do, love a good snowball fight, bobsledding, water skiing, fishing (fresh and salt), watching football and hockey and I love to go hiking.  All of these activities by the way can involve sex.

Did I mention that I love sex?  I am very active in this area.  Some people consider that to be, well let’s just say, not ladylike.  Those of you who feel this way is welcome to your opinions but I can guarantee you that I am having a lot more fun in this life than you.  I also suggest you look up the song “Lady Like” by Storm Large & the Balls.  This, my new friends, is my anthem.  Take a listen it will give you a much better insight into the phenomenon that is me, Francesca.

I do not consider myself to be a submissive mate, but more of a little dominatrix and a little Mrs. Beaver Cleaver (i.e. can act innocent).  I like to ride and to be ridden.  But if you are going to be doing the driving then you better drive it fast and hard.  I can honestly state with great conviction that there is nothing I hate more than a Nancy Boy in the bedroom.  I didn’t climb into bed naked to be cuddled or talked to I came to get it on, so lets not mess around.  Foreplay can be fantastic if done correctly.  If you are going to just lie there and wait for me to get things started you are out-of-luck.

I will remove myself from the situation and break out my little buddy, Gilligan.  I am perfectly capable of handling things on my own and will probably get it done faster.  Most of you need me. You need my insight. To be brutally honest, the majority of you SUCK in the bedroom. It is really a shame that mothers are so scared to talk to theirs sons and daughters about sex honestly and openly.  If they did, we would all be much better at it and the divorce rate would be nonexistent.

My most favorite activity in the bedroom is spit polishing the knob. That’s right boys, a girl who LOVES to give oral satisfaction.  We do exist! I almost kind of wonder if it’s because I have such penis envy, that I make it my goal to perfect this art?  I can do things with my mouth and throat that have made men’s heads spin.  I should really write a book about it, I would make a mint!  Every one of you would be buying a copy to give to your girls.

I am really not sure what else I can tell you?  If you should come across me on Facebook, I am not easy to find.  Be forewarned, I will not date men I meet on Facebook, so don’t bother.  I date men I meet in bookstores and airports and I screw the men I met in bars.  My philosophy in this arena is this, “If you can, you do. If you can’t, you surf the net.”

I am here for your sexual needs, well “questions” to be more specific.  Ask me anything on this most fantastic topic. You will not scare me off.  If I have not already done it, you will simply be giving me new ideas, which I am always open to.  I will do my best to answer your questions even before you ask them.  But if I miss something, please write me and let me know as I will oblige.

Remember boys, when you look good we look good.  Kisses Francesca.

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Shaving Your Pubes: To Do or Not To Do?

Posted by Francesca on June 2, 2010 · 2 Comments 

Okay guys, lets be frank here, this is a serious matter. My first question, as should be yours, “Do I like to go bushwhacking?”. If your answer is no, you should go ahead and assume the lady you are with does not either.

Most women would prefer a nicely trimmed mound and clean shaven balls. We have flossed before coming to bed or meeting you on the stairs, we don’t need to do it again while pleasuring you. Women that know what they are doing will be less put off by smooth balls. Not to mention some of us can get a little overly excited when playing with the boys. The pulling of a ball hair would be quite the mood killer, yes?

If you are the kind of guy that does like bushwhacking, I can get behind that too. However, cut it back enough to keep it from looking like some paleolithic plantation. Not to mention we can do a much better job when our noses aren’t being tickled by Elmo. I would still recommend keeping the boys cleanly shaven. I personally love to play with balls while I am working and I can assure you what I do feels much better on soft smooth clean shaven balls. Otherwise you get the brillo pad effect going with the friction of pubic hair in the way, and no one wants that!

Now I know a lot of you think that bigger is better and to some women I guess it is. Most of us however are very happy with you 6 – 8 ers, provided you know what you are doing. Thing is guys, going for the Mt. Baldy look thinking it will somehow enhance what we see, most of the time does not work. What we see is a little boy mound with a man’s business, a little weird if you ask me. I have had the opportunity to experience this very situation and lets just say I was not nearly as enthusiastic with my performance as I would have usually been. The trimmed look is very nice, still masculine and at the same time giving you that sense of being larger.

When it comes to shaving the pubic area, you want to use the right lubricant for your tool. I recommend you go to the nearest adult retailer and pick up some Coochy Shave, yes Coochy Shave. This product is a miracle for sensitive area shaving. I have tried others, they aren’t as good I promise. You take a nice warm shower or bath and then apply a generous amount to the area you plan to shave. Let it sit for about a minute to two minutes then take a fresh razor and get to work. Obviously taking your time, we need you in one piece. When you are nice and smooth rinse it off, and enjoy that wonderfully moisturized skin. My man borrows mine when he is shaving that beautiful head of his, (the one of his shoulders of course) and his boys. Me likey!!!!

Back to our first question, the bushwhacking thing. If your girl is not one that shaves and you would like her to, a few suggestions. Tell her you read an article about intimacy, and in this article it included shaving your girl. Obviously use some finesse in the telling of this story, if you don’t know what that means, I can’t help, only wish you luck. If she is totally freaked out and doesn’t take the hint, either embrace the bush or move on. If she isn’t freaked out about you being involved, draw her a bath, help her wash. Then put a towel on the bed and lay her down. It wouldn’t hurt to have some candles and music. Have a bowl of warm water, extra towels, the Coochy shave and a razor at the ready. Being ridiculously, intensely careful, repeat the above instructions. Feel free to add any of your own ideas to this scenario. When you are done cleaning her up, go in for a little piece of pie. I can assure you, the difference in her experience with you having full access, will blow her mind. Causing this to become either a regular event in your bedroom, or she will handle it on her own.

I hope you enjoyed my opinion on this wonderful topic. You guys are my favorite subject, every part of you! The better you look, the better we look. Chat with you soon.

Francesca

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