Can Women and Men Really be Friends?
As a woman my response is yes. I have countless guy friends that I have never wanted sexually. But I wonder if you narrow this question down to: Can you be friends with a woman and never have a sexual thought about her? What would your response be?
I was quite surprised at the response I got when talking to other guys about this, they agreed with me. Albeit, most of them conceded that their own evolution and age was a major factor.
So, what do you guys think? Is age really the key as a man? Is it because looks fade, or sex drive? Or do you think it really is just not possible for a man to not have a sexual thought about any woman they maintain a closeness too?
I think it is possible regardless of age. For a woman closeness to a man through friendship, or sexual attraction can be on completely different playing fields. Is it the same for you?
The only way a guy can be “just friends” with a girl is if she is overweight and/or unattractive. It’s built into our genetic make-up…..eventually one of the two (usually the guy) wants more! It’s just the way it is!
Anybody else agree with Average Joe?
I think it is sad but true. Joe said it right .. eventually the “guy” will want more ruining a perfectly great friendship, thereby scaring off the girl and/or making things a little weird for their future. This ultimately results in the dissolution of a perfectly fine friendship down the drain.
Plus, how unfair is it if when you start dating someone new and this “friendship” existed beforehand? The threat of your girl “friend” not liking the new girlfriend is unnecessary competition and uncomfortable.
Guys need to understand that girls are girls’ biggest competition/threat not other guys! If they understood this, they may never have a jealous emotion again.
So, here is my question to you guys out there. If the sexual manifestations are unavoidable what happens to the ‘relationship’ between the ‘friends’ at that point from a guys perspective. Is the sexual tension always there? Can it eventually resolve, or evolve?
Actually I think it goes back to a guy’s mother and his relationship with her. I was close to my mother growing up and she actually, in my teen years, became more and more like a friend to me rather than a mother until finally as a young adult it was mostly a friendship. So she helped me see women as something else besides just a mother or a homemaker. Let’s face it, a lot of men only view women in a sexual way. So I do believe its evolution but also environment. I was raised with a younger sister I was taught to look after. By the time I reached high school I had friends that were female that I just viewed as friends. One of my best friends in high school was gorgeous and I’m not saying I never had a romantic or sexual thought about her but we discussed it and because we knew each other well, knew that if we dated it might ruin our friendship so we decided to ignore those feelings. But I’ve also had and do have female friends to this very day that I’ve never had a sexual thought about that are attractive. So maybe for some its maturity or getting to a certain age, but I also think it can be how you were raised and what your view of women’s roles can be in your life. I find there are certain things I can talk about with my female friends that I can’t with my guy friends. Women tend to be better listeners and more compassionate. They have less ego interfering with their advice. It’s only impossible to be just friends with a woman if you believe it is. But to me, that says alot about how you view women
Actually, I have a good example: Six years ago a couple lived across the street from me. I became friends with them. Three years ago they split up and at first, I leaned towards hanging out with the male more than I did the female only because at the time I felt more of a connection to him. About a year after the split, I saw Misha (that’s her name) in a grocery store and she expressed hurt at my not contacting her to hang out ever so I started to do so. When a few people, including the male, found out we were hanging out, they all assumed we were together. Today, I don’t hang out with the male anymore because though he says he believes I haven’t been with Misha, I know he does. But in the meantime, Misha has become one of the greatest friends I’ve ever had and to this day, I’ve never touched her or wanted to and she’s not bad looking. I just don’t see her that way. We started as friends and I want to keep it that way. I hang out with her a lot and I just never think of her as anything different from my male friends. Some people, because of their experience or how they were raised just can’t conceive of a man and woman just being friends. But I can.
I honestly feel men can not be friends with a woman unless he receives something out of the relationship with that woman.
Wether it be money, sexual, and anything concrete.
I have had guy friends, but never long term friendships. It seemed as though the friendship could never stay simple, and sexual comments where ALWAYS a topic.
To me, men never know where their place is as a friend to a woman and ALWAYS seem to think that we are interested, in reality, we are just talking.