So, in my infinite curiosity of all things male I turned him and asked, “What is this?” He laughed and said this is a channel that is used almost like porn for some men where they can watch women working out.

“Really?” I was shocked. I myself have always enjoyed working out alone. Although, come to think of it, there have been times that I have worked out with my husband and I definitely noticed that he seems to have a certain “regard” to me working out.

When I asked him if he too found this to be a turn on, indicating what I had picked up on the rare occasions that we did work out together, he said that it really wasn’t a turn on per se, it was just me. Oh, yes, of course that must be it … I had to research this new male curiosity.

I began questioning my guy friends to see what their thoughts were and if they too found it to be a turn on, obviously intrigued.

Interestingly, most guys did indeed find it hot. I got answers like, “well I think it is hot to watch a girl work out … mostly stretching because you can imagine all of the positions that you can get her in sexually.” That seemed the most logical to me and made sense, as did the next popular comment, “if you see a girl working out, sweating in the gym you know that she takes care of herself, that’s a turn on.” Ok, I can get behind that too. Honestly, my initial thought was guys enjoyed watching boobs bounce on the treadmills (am I wrong?)

This leads me to the question at hand. While yes I understand a girl who takes care of herself is a turn on and a girl who can contort her body in ways to make a grown man cry is also a turn on, my really question is can it compete with porn? Is it that big of a turn on?

If so, I wonder how many of you could get your chicks to start working out in front of you vs. watching “Deep Throat” for the 10th time. (Yes, yes, I know we can all get used porn dvds for $5, a serious steal!).

So I am going to throw it back to you. Is it hot enough to compete with adult entertainment? Do you tune in? Is it just something different sexually?

There are plenty of girls in the world who do want to dress up and get naughty, I assure you. Once you lasso one in, communicate to her openly and honestly about it and find out what her limits are going to be. Unless she brings up the role playing first, you should be fairly confident that you know this girl – who knows what crazy guys have dressed up for her in the past. Communication remains the key to a healthy sexual relationship in the bedroom. Once the limits are in place, explore all the new opportunities you have created for yourself. Buy her outfits. Buy yourself outfits. Get outfits together and have a total stranger pick them for you in the store. And if you are not going to play a character then why am I? So be willing to don some tights as well, Superman.

Francesca’s Favorites:

The Deliveryman:

He shows up in one of those sexy brown delivery uniforms. She waits by the door in lingerie, surprising him. He acts shy at first to test her out but he knows whats about to happen. When he realizes that – married or not – she’s hot, wet, and waiting to unleash the sex god under the uniform. Putting down one package to take care of another, he takes her right there in the entryway, against the wall or on the floor.

Breaking Then Entering:

She sleeps bed and awakens at the sound of an intruder. Hearing what sounds like her stuff getting stolen, she gets up to investigate wearing just panties and a tank top. He hears her getting out of bed and waits quietly in the darkness. As she passes in the hallway he grabs her from behind and covers her mouth to keep the screams at bay. Whispering threats into my ear about killing me if she make a sound, he takes in her smell. You can take it from here, I could get in trouble or fired if I write more. * This is not for all women. You need a freaky one for this game.

School Girl:

Admit it, you nasty boys… you all wanted Britney Spears in the Hit Me Baby (One More Time) music video. You know what Im talking about, when she was dancing in the high school hallways wearing that kinky little skirt. The outfit is simple enough to get: you can get the bobby socks at regular clothing stores, as well as a white, lacey button up shirt. The power of the outfit lies within the little plaid skirt and you can get that at most stores selling school uniforms. If you can’t find one in her size, check online to browse selections. Once the skirt comes on though, the rest is up to you. Hands on extra credit anyone?

Roxanne and her Red Light:

This one is always fun for both parties, as long as you have a girl willing to play the usually unwanted part of a prostitute. This role play screams for a tight, slutty dress and some come-do-me heels to match. Have her wait at a predetermined corner at a predetermined time (in a SAFE neighborhood). Drive around the block, then pull up and ask what her plans are for the evening. You both get into the role with some playful verbal flirting, the she hops in (and hopefully on).

These are just some of the characters you and your lover(s) can get into, there are endless possibilities out there for you both. I’m sure that some of you are already figuring out how to ask your girlfriend if she would be willing to play along! Since everyone could use some new material now and again, write us back with your fantasy scenarios, past or hopefully future!

Love you boys, keep coming back! Kisses.

Francesca

Cut to an hour and a half later. You are still there. Why you wonder?

Let me redirect your attention to what has been unfolding before you. (I know it’s hard to pay attention when scantily dressed beautiful girls have been parading before you). Did you notice the well-dressed men talking to the bouncers? The bouncers, going from their phone, to list, phone to list and then them getting in? Who are they?

Well, in most cases somebody with money, a nobody really. But a somebody willing to drop a Benjamin to get to the front of the line and wait for a short time before entering the club.

The secret is money. In order to make your way into the club in the foreseeable future, you require money. Money = entry. Hot girls = men willing to pay to get in. These girls are the club’s advertisement – why they don’t have to wait and you do. Clever isn’t it.

Pour the following ingredients into a shaker with ice:

- 1/2 oz Vanilla vodka (I like Stoli Vanilla)

- 1/2 oz watermelon pucker

- Equal parts sweet n sour and Sprite or 7up

Shake all ingredients well, strain into shot glasses and enjoy!

Unleash the juiciness

I have found that the only way to tell if a woman is being truthful in her displays of pleasure is by the fluttering of her abdomen. Without being too clinical about it, when a woman is experiencing an orgasm it is her muscles in that area contracting. This creates the orgasm as well as the flutter. This CANNOT be faked! Well, at least I have never been able to pull this off. Ladies?

Some women have attempted to fake the flutter by writhing at your touch. This CAN be faked, quite easily in fact. So in answer to the question, being loud can be a clue but hardly a definite indication. Watch for the flutter and squirm. It feels FANTASTIC!!

Keep coming back.

Kisses, Francesca

From a female perspective there is nothing more frustrating than having the same fight over, and over again. I am confident you will agree with that statement. Women do nag, I am certainly not going to deny it but, I’d be willing to bet that most of the nagging is repetitive of something we have talked about before.

Regardless, I think the best way to look at it is that marriage, dating, and relationships in general are a war and fights are the battles. We need to pick our battles, because in the end it is about winning the war with our relationship in tact. If that is what you want of course. (We all hope for the peace treaty, but let’s get real … women and men are far too opinionated to sit idly by).

Rule No. 1: Think before you react. Spewing hurtful comments at each other can never be taken back. They will haunt you forever! Do not set yourself up for that despite the fact that your partner may do it. Their ego obviously supersedes their logic.

Rule No. 2: Timing is everything. Be understanding to the situation at hand. Life is stressful, so if one of you is already stressed, your fight at the wrong time will create a war. Wait until you are both in the right mindset.

Rule No. 3: The battle does not need to be about winning vs. losing. In fact, if you have this thought, you shouldn’t be in a relationship at all. Disagreements should ultimately be about compromise.

Rule No. 4: Listen to each other. Try and recognize the other’s position. This doesn’t mean stating fine, and moving on. For women, a “fine” means nothing! We only want to know you “heard” us. I know we are very confusing when we start talking; we share way too much that is sometimes an overload for you. Ask your girl to just get to the point, be simple and precise in what she is asking. It may surprise her, but I get what you need and I am sure she will catch on.

My little trick: Try to remove the word “you” from each of your sentences and instead use “I.” It will make your significant other feel less defensive. Good luck!

If you think a bartender is hot, cute or maybe just intriguing and you’re interested in taking her out here are a few pointers:

Become one of her regulars
The best thing to do is become one of her regulars. A good bartender should remember your usual drink order, try to take your order first and might be able to provide an occasional drink on the house. Try introducing yourself and get the bartender’s name. On the next visit, greet her by name and try to initiate a casual conversation – keep it simple. Once you feel comfortable, go for it. One of the most important pieces to this puzzle is making sure you’re sober when you finally ask her out.

Maintain a friendly relationship
Establishing a friendly relationship is a good way to make her comfortable and remove you from the “just another drunk guy” category. Make sure to avoid cheesy pick up lines, because no girl really falls for that crap. Ask her if she’d like to grab some coffee or even frozen yogurt sometime. Maybe your buddy is having a BBQ, ask if she’d like to come hang out. The key is to get her out of the work environment and somewhere you can get to know each other. This doesn’t mean a candle lit dinner for two or a date to the movies.

Good luck, I’d love to hear about any success or even crash and burn stories.

Calling last minute expecting you to take them in right away. We understand that hair emergencies do exist. However, if it’s an emergency every time you want to get in, it’s more from lack of planning on your part.

No showing their appointment. Just plain rude! If you know you can’t make it, call and let the salon/ stylist know. This way they can alter or move things to accommodate the newly formed gap you made in their schedule.

Being Late. Again, it’s understandable that you sometimes run late. But being consistently 15- 20 minutes late isn’t you being on time for you it’s being disrespectful of your stylist’s time. You being 15 minutes late can throw off their entire schedule, giving them several unhappy, or even lost, customers that day.

Having no idea what you want. If you don’t know, it’s hard to make you happy as a client. We can suggest what would look good – but if you have no clue or are picky it can be hard to please you. Make sure to come in with ideas and ask your stylist for their ideas as well. We, as stylists, want to make you happy when you leave.

Clients who don’t let you do your job. Nothing is more frustrating than the person in your chair telling you how to do your job. You need to place trust in your stylist, they know what they’re doing. If you don’t have confidence in the stylist you have chosen … it’s time to find a new one.

Touching your hair while we are styling/cutting it. In many ways, this can be highly bothersome. While we’re cutting, styling, etc. don’t feel the need to touch your hair every couple of minutes. Just be patient and considerate of your stylist doing their work. Play with it when we are done.

Bringing an audience. It’s hard to do your job as a stylist if your customer’s head is flopping around like a fish out of water because you are talking with your friends, blabbing on your phone, or reprimanding your child. Does any of this sound like it equates to an even cut to you? I think not.

Always looking for deals/handouts. Clients need to understand that though we would love to help everyone out, it’s our business and it’s how we make our living. We want to give deals to the ones who are really having a difficult time, not the ones just looking for a cheaper ticket.

Everyone wants to believe that their stylist loves them. If you actually want to keep in good standing with your stylist, ensuring they will be happy to see you when you come in, be respectful and pleasant. When you’re respectful of your stylist and their time they will be willing to go out of their way to make you happy and keep you coming back. If you have a good relationship, the stylist may even be willing to accommodate you if you need them to come in on their day off, squeeze you in for a real emergency, or work with you if you are struggling financially. Remember, it is still a business but once both people respect that part, both parties can experience a lasting relationship.

Is this hairstyle age appropriate for me?

Many men will choose a style that does not translate well for their age. Picking a young hairstyle does not make you look younger if anything it makes you look older and like you’re trying too hard.

Does the hairstyle fit your lifestyle?

If you’re a low maintenance type or an out door person, picking a hairstyle that requires a lot of up keep or tons of product probably isn’t your best choice. You should always ask yourself if you’re willing to put in the time to achieve the look. Similarly, if you’re a wake up and go person a high maintenance hairstyle isn’t for you. Choose one that you can get the look you want with the least amount of fuss.

Do you have the right texture or thickness of hair for this particular hairstyle?

This is very important. If you don’t have the right hair type to support the style it will never come out the way you expect. You will end up disappointed in your choice, and also in your stylist for not warning you that your hair can’t do what you want it to do.

Do you like using hair product?

If you don’t like using hair products, choosing a style that requires using them won’t be a great choice, as you’ll end up hating the way you look. Know what you want your hair to do and what it will take to keep it that way.

Is your hair thinning?

If so, choose a short style closer to the scalp. Trying to keep it longer and conceal the fact your losing it won’t fool anyone. Embrace what you have and your inability to change it, then, choose a style that doesn’t accentuate the fact it’s thinning. If chosen well, people will not notice what you lack; rather they will notice what you have.

Is the hairstyle dated or dead?

If the hairstyle you’re sporting topped the trend charts during the 80s or 90s and has yet to make its comeback, it’s better to leave that style in the past. Nobody will admire you’re nod to the mullet, flattop, or frat boy fade.

How does your man/woman like your hair?

If you’re someone who doesn’t care what anyone thinks, more power to you. However, if you are one to please, ask what style they would like to see on you. They might not be your ultimate solution, but if anything they will appreciate that you care enough to take their opinion into consideration.

Keep in mind that if you have any concerns with what you have chosen, ask your stylist any or all of these questions and get their input – it could mean the difference between a symphony and a train wreck.

Busy bars clearly have the upper hand in this situation. Since there are several people waiting to order their drinks, it’s better for me to take my chances on someone new. I’ve got a 50% chance to get someone new who tips with decency, rather than the 100% certainty of a bad attitude and no tip with the previous jerkoff. If you have stiffed me on tips all night or been rudely demanding, it’s more satisfying for me to ignore you. Being rude back to you is only going to add fuel to your fire and force me to waste unnecessary time on you. However, if I ignore you it’s going to piss you off but in a way that doesn’t further piss me off. Since my life doesn’t need your drama, I get to just walk away and let you fester with anger. People don’t like to wait, especially in a bar. The icing on the cake: I’ve shared your Desert status with my fellow bartenders so no matter where you go, everyone will ignore you.

I know some bartenders ignore pissy customers because they’ve got their head too far up their own ass, but most will ignore you for a purpose. Know you are an asshole but don’t know how to change? Try to not start off by being rude and thinking of yourself all the time. Have your order ready because Im the one working and busy here. Then try throwing down a worthy tip to show you know I’m working hard for you. Trust me, taking care of your bartender will always work to your benefit, especially if you become a regular. A bartender always remembers a good tipper and will go out of their way to give you preferential service! If these concepts remain too elementary for you, what goes around comes around. Next in line!