MaleStandard

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How to Order a Drink the Right Way

Posted by Roxi on July 6, 2010 · Leave a Comment

Ordering a drink should be a very simple task, but for many people ends up turning into a bit of a disaster. You wouldn’t think this would be such an ordeal, but unfortunately people really don’t get it when it comes to ordering a drink. The first thing a bartender normally asks is, “What can I get you to drink?” This question should not come as a shock to you, after all that is at least 90% of the reason you are getting the bartender’s attention anyway. It’s very simple- all you need to do is figure out what you want to drink, see if the group you are with needs drinks, preferably before I ask the aforementioned question?, (if you’re planning on buying of course), get some sort of payment out and place your order.

Bartenders differ from servers so we don’t write down orders. Part of our job is to remember the drinks you order which is why it is essential to order your drinks in a particular way. Every bartender is different and has their own system to help memorize drink orders, but the customer still plays a vital part in this process. Mistakes are going to happen and customers are going to forget someone’s drink or be slightly off on the count, no biggie. It’s those of you who place an order that consists of multiple changes and last minute additions that forces me to take up unnecessary space in my brain and prolong you actually getting your drink, along with everyone behind you?. For example, placing the following order can get a little confusing- “Can I get two Bud Lights, a Cosmopolitan, 1 rum and coke, & 3 Kamikaze shots? Oh wait, make that 2 Kamikaze shots & 2 Jager Bomb. Oh and I need another rum and coke.” Now imagine this order being placed, while you’ve got a bar full of people waiting to get their drinks and this particular person is still talking to his or her group trying to see if there are any more changes or additions. Believe it or not, plenty of people order this way and don’t even realize it’s effect on the bartender. I’m not trying to say you need to order perfect every time, but taking the time to have your order a little more organized (especially if it’s a big one) helps with the bartender’s efficiency and ultimately helps you. Unless you have been in the industry, this information is probably completely foreign to you.

One of the annoying components of a bartender’s job is dealing with people who aren’t ready to order. It’s annoying enough having to deal with someone who is waving their hand at you asking to be next or leaning over the bar yelling drinks at you, but the frustration is multiplied when that idiot isn’t even ready to place an order when you make it over to them! I mean really, are you going to yell across the bar like a bafoon and THEN have the audacity to turn around and ask your friends what they want AFTER I’ve come over to you???? Use your freakin’ head, don’t flag me down unless you are good and ready to give me your order!

We are also amused with the people who order a “beer”. When you ask what kind of beer, they shrug and respond with, “Just a beer”. Are you joking? Our bar carries eight draft beers and twice as many bottled beers, all of which are clearly displayed! I wonder if people think they’re living in some kind of cartoon and everything is generically labeled. Granted, all bars are different but how many have you been to that only carry one type of beer? At some point you have to be able to help yourself. Do you want an imported or domestic beer, perhaps something dark or maybe you prefer something on the lighter side. I don’t expect you to even notice the display of beers, but you can at least narrow down the search by specifying what you’re looking for. Try asking what light beers the bar carries or possibly you’re in the mood for a draft. You may not know if the bar carries Corona, but you can start by asking what Mexican beers are offered if you happen to be in the mood for something in that tier.

Keep in mind, you’re ultimate goal is to get your drink as quickly as possible and my goal is to serve as many customers as I possibly can. If you are more organized when ordering, I can be more efficient when making your drinks. Help me, help you and we’ll both benefit! :)

Filed under Social · Tagged with bartender, drinks, how to order a drink, jagor bombs, kamikaze, ordering a drink

Pulling Off the One Night Stand

Posted by MaleStandard on July 1, 2010 · Leave a Comment

Hello Boys! Good to have you back! This is gonna be a good one, so grab yourself a beverage and get comfortable. I am gonna open up a whole new world of one night stands for you.

Lets get started with your first do for a one night’er, how do you look? Comfortable sexy is always good. A pair of nice fitting jeans and t-shirt with a jacket always works. Please though do yourselves a favor as well as the ladies you’ll be scoping for the evening’s festivities, when you are buying your jeans, take a look at your butt before you buy. The biggest mistake you guys make is wearing a pair of jeans that hang off your ass.

Have you shaven? We like clean-shaven faces for the task at hand. Go for the rugged look once you have gotten past the one night stand part of your life and have a girlfriend. Are you wearing cologne? Make sure it’s not too strong; sometimes a really good smelling deodorant is all you need.

Do you have your alter ego for the evening picked out? You DO NOT give her your real name! Birthday, dog, etcetera all okay to be truthful with, but NOT YOUR NAME. Now, there is an exception to this rule, as there is to most. If this girl is your future wife you obviously do not want to start the relationship off with a lie but this is a very slippery slope. Can you really be sure with one look that this girl is not PSYCHO?

Okay now lets get to the real business at hand, the dos and don’ts. DO scope out your location! I have done some bar crawling myself and I can tell you for the younger set you should try: Club 333 in Newport Beach, Beach Front 301 in Huntington Beach, really anything along the coast will work.

For my older readers that aren’t looking for a young little thing to boost the ego for the evening, or really don’t care who you take home as long as you will be getting some; have I got the place for you. It is in Yorba Linda and it is called the FoxFire, or as me and mine like to call the Sure Fire. You will not leave this place without a woman on your arm if that is your goal it is quite literally a guaranteed lay.

Once you have scoped out your bar of choice, of most importance is this do! Always be sure to scope the room out. When you enter the bar, before you get a drink, find yourself a spot in the middle of the action and settle in. Take in the room and get to know your surroundings; this will go along way in creating your persona for the evening.

The more you know about your surroundings the more confident you will appear, even if this is your first time trying to pull it off. Pay close attention to the ladies in the room, who are they with? Maybe she is with a group of giggling college students or is it one of her favorite gay friends? This will be important in executing the pick up.

Now check the bartender, is he a player looking to score too or is he just looking for tips and paying attention to the gay friend?

Now if you feel confident in your environment it’s time to unleash the player.

Sidle up to the bar and order your drink. If you are really looking to have a nice night do not order a drink with an umbrella or some other kind of embellishment. You need to look the part and a long island iced tea is not going to get you anywhere.

Make sure you order your drink from the bartender that is checking out the gay friend, he will be your stand in wingman tonight. Give him a very nice tip, you’ll want him to like you right off the bat.

Now have you chosen your prey for the evening? Is she surrounded by a pack of friends? If she is, your best bet is to divide and conquer otherwise you will get yourself nowhere, unless of course they are extremely drunk. In that case you may want to approach the group as you could be looking at the ultimate evening; one that you and your friends will still be talking about at the old folks home.

Now if she is with the gay friend, you want him to like you before she does. This will be your ticket to paradise boys. If he likes you, you are so in. After you get him to fall in love with you, gush over the girl for a bit and then excuse yourself to the bar to get another round of drinks (Do Not be cheap boys that is a sure fire way to get you nowhere fast!!!) While you are gone two things will happen, the girl and the gay friend will talk about how cute you are and get all twitterpated. The second thing that will happen will be that you are going to do so some recon while you are at the bar. Ask the bartender if she is a regular, does he know anything about her etcetera.

Once you have her on the hook, a couple of more drinks and a couple of more turns around the dance floor and be on your way. It is ALWAYS better to go to her apartment. You do not want her to know where you live this is PARAMOUNT to pulling off the one nightstand.

Now if she approaches you, you’re in, keep the drinks coming and keep her dancing and talking you will get laid tonight. But, hey don’t be upset if she does not ask for your number. She had a plan going into the bar tonight your boy parts being key to that plan and the plan ends when the boy parts are done playing. The woman that comes on to you knows exactly what she wants and you are it so lay back and let her do all of the work you will have plenty to do later that evening.

My most important piece of advice to you is this: Women that are willing to play this little game are either of the same mind as you and will come on to you and be quite easy to get into bed. Or they are looking for Mr. Right. The first will usually kick you out of her bed long before the sun comes up and the latter, yeah not so much.

If she gets too cuddly or even remotely whispers the “L” word you need to get out while the getting is good, if you spend the night with this one another psycho bitch stalker will be born. This is why you do not give her your real name, it would also serve you not to return to that particular bar for a few weeks as she will most assuredly be looking for you.

I hope that this enlightens you to the wonders of pulling off the one night stand. If you have questions or think of something I did not cover please write in and let me know.

Love you Boys!! Keeping coming back. And remember when you look good we look good. Kisses. Francesca

Filed under Dating & Sex · Tagged with bars, bartender, cougars, Dating & Sex, ladies, one night stand, one nighter, party, pickup, player

How to Avoid Being Ignored by The Bartender

Posted by Roxi on June 10, 2010 · Leave a Comment

Now, this may seem very basic to many of you and after all ordering a drink should only require a little common sense right? Well, it would be that simple if everyone had common sense, but unfortunately that isn’t always the case. Ordering a drink actually requires some technique. Of course, if you are a regular at the bar it will give you a huge advantage over those who aren’t. For those of you exploring a new bar or just a bar you don’t happen to be a regular at, these tips are for you!

I know it can be frustrating when you’re trying to order a drink and it seems like no matter what you do or where you stand, the bartender doesn’t acknowledge you. Believe it or not, most bartenders do keep a mental note of who is next and try to help customers in some kind of order. The system isn’t fool proof when dealing with a crowded bar when every customer thinks they were there first, so try to be patient.

Now, I’m well aware of the bartenders who think they’re god’s gift to alcohol and make you feel like they’re doing YOU a favor by taking your order. Let’s face it, I want your tip just as much as you want your drink so bottom line is that we both want something from each other so why play games?

In order to figure out how to get the bartender’s attention, you need to know what to avoid. Just because a bartender’s head is down does not mean they aren’t paying attention to their surroundings. We have our heads down most of the time to make drinks (after all that is our job), we need to watch our pour, get ice, locate the alcohol/ingredients to make your drinks, etc. The lack of eye contact serves a purpose at times, it is not intended to ignore you so don’t take it personal. Having said that, when you wave your hands in the air like a maniac from the other end of the bar it isn’t a trigger for us to rush over to you immediately and take your order. In fact, it does the opposite and you just got yourself a free pass to the back of the line, congratulations!

Being an asshole never gets you very far in life and the bar industry is no exception. If you start swearing at the bartender or lecturing them about how long you’ve been in line you’re just going to end up waiting even longer. We’re bartenders not morons (well I can’t speak for everyone). If you’re already pissed off before you’ve placed your order you’re probably going to stiff me on the tip and be an asshole once I get to you, so what’s the point of dealing with you? If I move to the next person who isn’t complaining I at least have a 50/50 chance of getting a tip and hopefully a 100% chance of not getting any attitude.

Telling a bartender you’re next and you’ve been waiting a long time is another topic to avoid. Like I said, we do our best to ensure everyone gets their drink as quickly as possible. Most of the people who say they’ve been waiting for 20 minutes are exaggerating and probably haven’t even waited 10 minutes. When you’re in a crowded bar and the bartenders appear to be moving quickly there isn’t much more that can be done. You just have to be patient and wait your turn, being polite helps too.

After all people, you’re in the bar/club to grab some drinks and have a good time. Why start the night being pissed off because you had to wait a few extra minutes to get your drink. All it will do is ruin your night and it definitely won’t make your drinks magically appear. So just chill out and relax. You’ll attract the bartender’s attention much quicker if you look like you’re having a good time than you will if you look pissed off. Keep this in mind, the more customers I help, the more potential there is for me to make money. Ultimately it doesn’t benefit me in anyway to ignore you or avoid serving drinks. So smile, be patient and know that I’m trying to get to you as quickly as I can. Hopefully we can both benefit from this mutual understanding- you can get your drink on and I can bring in that cash money!

- Roxi

Filed under Social · Tagged with alcohol, attention, bar, bartender, bartenders, club, drinking, ordering a drink

Behind the Bar With Roxi

Posted by Roxi on May 29, 2010 · 1 Comment

Awe, the life of a bartender can be so very interesting. As with most jobs, tending bar has its pros and cons. The hours are tough, and working weekends (the big money nights) doesn’t make for much of a social life, but tending bar can be very lucrative. Although dealing with drunken idiots does get old, you really can’t beat the atmosphere. Being a bartender is challenging, but when you break it down, it’s like working in a party all the time!

Someone once asked me what the worst part of my job was and I guess I would have to say dealing with dumb asses and people who just want to be difficult. Is it that hard to get your order straight, before you flag me down as if you have been waiting an eternity to order your drink?! Also, is it too much to ask that you have some sort of currency out- cash, a credit card, your first born?! I’ve come to the conclusion that some people are surprised they actually have to pay for the drinks they order! I feel like I should apologize and say, “I know, we’re one of those weird bars that charges for drinks!” Come on people, get it together and at least have a $20 out!

And for those who think adding, “Just one more mixed shot” is no biggie, think again! Adding one more beer kind of disrupts my flow, but not a big deal. Adding one more Scooby Snack when I just poured five, well let’s just say it’s a bit of a pain in the ass. May sound like I’m just bitching, but being efficient is essential to a bartender. And things like this slow us down. So, if you’re ever frustrated because it’s taking forever to get your drink, take a look around at your fellow bar goers. Chances are you are being held up by, “Miss Can I Get,” oh yeah and…Mr. “How much was that again, um where did I put my money?”

Oh and if you’re one of those who “just” needs a water, you “just” need to get a clue. I don’t have a problem serving you water, but there’s nothing “just” about it. “Just” because you want water, doesn’t mean you get a free pass to the front of the line, you can “just” wait your turn.

Aside from the above and the occasional moron who thinks they are sooo much smarter than you, we do meet some pretty cool people. Over the years I’ve had some really amazing regulars who help bring everything full circle. Dealing with unreasonable people is to be expected when you work in the bar industry. It’s important to realize not everyone is drunk and stupid. The good thing is that you meet a lot of really great people who actually appreciate you. Some even take the time to notice how hard you’re working and realize how fast you’re moving. So if you’re one of those people that are on the fence about showing your appreciation, worry no more and just go for it. Trust me, patience and appreciation can really go a long way. Who knows, the next time you need a drink it just might make the difference between getting your drink order before someone else or maybe even get you a free shot! Although I could ramble on and on about the dumb things people say and do, being a bartender really is a great job! Don’t forget to take care of your bartender and they’ll take care of you.

- Roxi

Filed under Social · Tagged with bar etiquette, bartender, behind the bar, roxi, scooby snack, shots

Introducing Roxi: The Bar Temptress

Posted by Roxi on May 29, 2010 · Leave a Comment

Roxi’s my name and bartending’s my game! As a bartender, I’ve seen all sorts of interesting things. From the usual drunken drama to some really cool people I’ve met and literally everything in between. I’ll share all sorts of funny stories, behind the scenes information, as well as drink and shot recipes with you. One of my purposes of writing this column is to help you be a better customer, a more desirable date and hopefully have more luck with “All the Single Ladies.” But before we indulge in all the drunken drama, let me give you a taste of the “Roxi” outside of the bar.

Growing up, all the neighborhood kids my age happened to be boys. All my cousins in my age group were also boys. Boys, boys, boys…what can I say, I guess I’ve grown up sort of being one of them. Sure, I love pink and anything that sparkles, but I really know how to relate to guys. I’ve always been Daddy’s girl, but I know my dad was hoping I’d be a boy so I think he was always tougher on me than my little sister. I like to get dolled up like most girls do, and I can do it like the best of ‘em, but I’m just as comfortable and content without all the glitz and glamour.

Another reason I relate to guys easier is that I’m interested in a lot of traditionally male things like sports, food and sleeping. :) Don’t get me wrong, I have great female friends also. But I’ll be the first to admit, girls often bring too much drama. Let’s face it – life is too short and we’ve got too much on our plates to waste time with that B.S. I’m not trying to give my girls a bad name, but facts are facts. There is much more drama with a group of girls than there is with a group of men. Don’t get too smug guys; some of you can be drama too! ;) However, guys in general are simple and the sooner my fellow ladies realize that, the better off we’ll all be.

I’m a versatile girl with many interests. I enjoy cooking and love baking! Although I like to take care of myself, I’m not one of those girls who live off celery sticks and rice cakes. In fact, I’d eat prime rib smothered in horseradish with a loaded baked potato on the side every night if I could ensure it wouldn’t bite me in the ass and clog my arteries one of these days. Football and baseball are two of my favorite sports to watch. Not only do I enjoy watching and playing sports, but I also understand them. Lounging on the couch on a cold Fall Sunday watching football all day is actually something I look forward to. Would you believe that I even draft my own Fantasy Baseball team every year? And I’ve been known to host some of the best Super Bowl parties complete with a great spread of food, football pools, and games with prizes throughout the event. I’m also a golfer and yes, my Nike Slingshots do more than just sit in my bag and look pretty. Not only do I know the “P” does not stand for putter, but I also know what par, birdie, eagle and even albatross mean.

I’ve always been a versatile person and able to fit in with many different groups of people: male, female, old, young, various ethnic backgrounds, financially sound or struggling. I can be found dancing in a mini dress with a pair of stilettos or involved in a sporting event wearing a baseball cap and jeans. To sum it all up, I’m an all-around girl with a variety of interests!

Well, I’m hoping I’ve given you enough info about me so you trust that I’m here for you as I contribute thoughts to Male Standard. So, continue to check out my columns and all the information I throw your way. I also look forward to hearing from you, so feel free to email me with any questions you may have for me.

Bottoms up,

Roxi

Filed under Social · Tagged with bar, bar temptress, bartender, drink recipes, drinks, roxi, Social

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